Monday, October 04, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Benjamin Family
The family took a little family vacation back in the beginning of August. We haven't done anything like this since I was 11 years old. I guess you could say a lot has changed since then. Here are a few shots of the family.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Last full day
This morning we planned on going out to the building site to help work on some of houses that are being built for some of the families in the garbage dump. Although the families currently live in the dump, the houses are about a couple miles from the actual dump site. Frontline learned that the jealousy becomes too great if they begin to help one family and not all of them. Although their goal is to help them all, it is quite the process and so the way to begin taking steps is by moving families to a safer place and then building their new home in that area. CCC's generosity weekend supplied the money needed to make the homes possible. As we drove out to the site, we ran into some transportation issues. The truck that we had been driving overheated and we were stranded by the side of the road. By the time things got repaired the things that they were going to have us do wasn't possible. Instead, we just went by so that we could see the site, pray over it, take some pictures and then take off. I was looking forward to being able to build but at the same time, with the strong heat today and the number of students having some stomach issues I imagine it would have been a rough day. Maybe it was for the better that we couldn't do it.
Tonight starts an evening of blubber fest. Although I am ready to go home and feel like getting on the plane is something I am looking forward to, the students are the opposite. It isn't that I don't like it here, it is just that I am ready to get back home.
The students on the other hand are a mess. Tears have already started to roll. Some would like to burn their passports and others would do anything to spend the rest of their life here. They already looked on-line at the cost of plane tickets for winter break. It reminds me so much of the first time I went to Piedras Negras, Mexico. I was 14 years old and it was my first mission trip. Similar to the students on our team, I spent countless hours with the kids from the community. I thought they were the best friends in the world. They LOVED having us around and they were so sad to see us go. I sobbed like a baby when I had to say goodbye the first time. I remember getting home and starting to make plans immediately for my return trip to Proyecto Amistad.
I am sitting in the girls room writing this blog and listening to the girls talking about leaving. Tears are rolling, and they are talking about how hard tonight is going to be. They are comparing letters that they have written to each of the kids, and they are trying to figure out what the students might write back. In a way I feel bad for them but on the other hand, I really am just thankful that they had such a great experience here.
Over the next couple of days, Tim and I are going to meet with each student one-on-one for a recap of the trip. It is our goal to encourage them in some of the things we have witnessed about each of them personally and then also challenge them about what is next. Based on what the students learned we are going to challenge them to figure out what it looks like once they get home. Hopefully that is our way of holding our students accountable to really making this trip be something that drives them to live out their faith. I am hoping we will hear students who want to go home and serve in their schools, in the community and be a little braver when it comes to sharing their faith. If our students walk away with that desire, I believe we are really going accomplish something big. Tim believes and made a personal mission statement that says "students are the most powerful force in the planet." If we bring back students that are filled with a passion to serve, they are going to be dangerous! I am pretty excited to see that!
Thunder is beginning to roll in (that means it might cool off!). I imagine if I don't publish this entry soon I will loose the touchy Internet connection. Tomorrow we catch a 5 hour flight to Tokyo and then have a 21 hour lay-over. I am hoping we get out for at least a couple hour bus tour but rumor has it Tokyo isn't the friendliest place to visit and everything is really expensive. I am really hoping for some time to at least say I saw the city but we won't really know until we get there. After the long layover it is 13 more hours on the plane and then we touch down in Chicago. (Ironically, we touch down in Chicago the exact same time we left Tokyo... we will be traveling through a time capsule) It's been a good trip but I am ready to touch down in Chicago... sweet home Chicago.
Tonight starts an evening of blubber fest. Although I am ready to go home and feel like getting on the plane is something I am looking forward to, the students are the opposite. It isn't that I don't like it here, it is just that I am ready to get back home.
The students on the other hand are a mess. Tears have already started to roll. Some would like to burn their passports and others would do anything to spend the rest of their life here. They already looked on-line at the cost of plane tickets for winter break. It reminds me so much of the first time I went to Piedras Negras, Mexico. I was 14 years old and it was my first mission trip. Similar to the students on our team, I spent countless hours with the kids from the community. I thought they were the best friends in the world. They LOVED having us around and they were so sad to see us go. I sobbed like a baby when I had to say goodbye the first time. I remember getting home and starting to make plans immediately for my return trip to Proyecto Amistad.
I am sitting in the girls room writing this blog and listening to the girls talking about leaving. Tears are rolling, and they are talking about how hard tonight is going to be. They are comparing letters that they have written to each of the kids, and they are trying to figure out what the students might write back. In a way I feel bad for them but on the other hand, I really am just thankful that they had such a great experience here.
Over the next couple of days, Tim and I are going to meet with each student one-on-one for a recap of the trip. It is our goal to encourage them in some of the things we have witnessed about each of them personally and then also challenge them about what is next. Based on what the students learned we are going to challenge them to figure out what it looks like once they get home. Hopefully that is our way of holding our students accountable to really making this trip be something that drives them to live out their faith. I am hoping we will hear students who want to go home and serve in their schools, in the community and be a little braver when it comes to sharing their faith. If our students walk away with that desire, I believe we are really going accomplish something big. Tim believes and made a personal mission statement that says "students are the most powerful force in the planet." If we bring back students that are filled with a passion to serve, they are going to be dangerous! I am pretty excited to see that!
Thunder is beginning to roll in (that means it might cool off!). I imagine if I don't publish this entry soon I will loose the touchy Internet connection. Tomorrow we catch a 5 hour flight to Tokyo and then have a 21 hour lay-over. I am hoping we get out for at least a couple hour bus tour but rumor has it Tokyo isn't the friendliest place to visit and everything is really expensive. I am really hoping for some time to at least say I saw the city but we won't really know until we get there. After the long layover it is 13 more hours on the plane and then we touch down in Chicago. (Ironically, we touch down in Chicago the exact same time we left Tokyo... we will be traveling through a time capsule) It's been a good trip but I am ready to touch down in Chicago... sweet home Chicago.
An afternoon of fellowship
Yesterday afternoon we spent the time hanging out with the Frontline staff and families. I think what we were apart of was the Frontline version of leadership community. The afternoon was spent playing volleyball, basketball, a water balloon fight, and some time of sharing and worship. It really was a good time. During the sharing time, Frontline asked us all to get up and share a little bit about our experiences that we have had. I am not sure I have it all processed yet. I am not sure what to make out of the this trip but I do know that I am a huge believer in how this organization works and the things that they do. There is something about mission trips that have a way of humbling the spirit. Coming into the trip I was really tired. It had been such long school year. Between going through Nat'l boards, teaching full time, random school committees/commitments, and working at the church, I was tired and beat. There were so many obstacles to overcome to even get here. There were days, I didn't even know as I wanted to come. To be honest, I just felt like I had nothing left to give and I wasn't excited about putting on a mask and pretending like I did. I just wanted to crawl into a hole for a bit and just enjoy not having to do ANYTHING. I think what I needed to figure out is how to prioritize life a little bit. I need to begin asking myself where my passion really is and then just go after that. I can't go through another year where I allow myself to say yes to so many things.
Jeff Pesina challenged our group and the frontline staff a bit. He asked us a few questions about what we believed and he pushed on to ask, if we truly believe that stuff, why wouldn't we be willing to do some crazy and unexplainable things for God. Why would we let finances, money, and fear hold us back from anything. Why would we let insecurity talk louder than what other people say or believe. I don't know what to make of it all but it made my wheels spin a bit.
Jeff Pesina challenged our group and the frontline staff a bit. He asked us a few questions about what we believed and he pushed on to ask, if we truly believe that stuff, why wouldn't we be willing to do some crazy and unexplainable things for God. Why would we let finances, money, and fear hold us back from anything. Why would we let insecurity talk louder than what other people say or believe. I don't know what to make of it all but it made my wheels spin a bit.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Happy Father's Day
Sunday in church Frontline did a special service for father's. Although it was a really nice service, it made me really miss my Dad. I think the icing on the cake is when they made all the Dad's stand up and the mic was passed along to the kids as they sang the song "Hero" by Mariah Carey. I am blessed to have a Dad that I have such a good relationship with.
This trip pulls at the heartstrings a little bit. I have met so many kids that have parents that had kicked them out, abused them, or just let them run off to defend for themselves. I know that I was cared for in so many ways both growing up and now. Mom and Dad, I really appreciate all that you have done for me in my life. Thanks for all the support and encouragement you have given me. Thank you for protecting me, providing for me, and for helping me become the woman I am today.
This trip pulls at the heartstrings a little bit. I have met so many kids that have parents that had kicked them out, abused them, or just let them run off to defend for themselves. I know that I was cared for in so many ways both growing up and now. Mom and Dad, I really appreciate all that you have done for me in my life. Thanks for all the support and encouragement you have given me. Thank you for protecting me, providing for me, and for helping me become the woman I am today.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
A day at the green box and then back to the streets
Yesterday we headed back to the green box for some time to hang out with the church out there. We walked around the community to pay some house visits to some of the people that had been attending the crusades for the past couple of nights. If I am honest, I hate doing house visits. It would be cool if I could speak the language or if we had some really good translators but instead we just go there smile and let them stare at us as the Filippino's do all the speaking. Who knows what they say, I just pretend like I understand. At one point we were sitting on the porch of a woman who was sharing some of her story. I was bored because I understood nothing and so my eyes began wondering around the porch. I spotted this huge brown, hairy 8 legged creature that was making it's way towards me on the porch. One of the little kids saw that I had spotted it and decided it would be funny to try and scare the spider in my direction. This beast of a creature started sprinting towards me. I screamed like a little school girl and ran the other direction. Nothing like being the American that can't handle a spider but this thing was so much more than a daddy long leg. It had hair and it had a body that was as big as a golf ball. With legs and all it was bigger than my hand. Eventually the kids killed the thing but then they found it to be funny to run over to us with the legs that they pulled off of the body. The legs continued to move and twitch.
Later that afternoon there was a concert back at the blue box. Our students were able to perform and once again did a fantastic job. The team from frontline has some incredible talent and between their dancing, the band, and their singers, the concert was a huge success.
After the concert we decided to hit the streets of San Pablo once again. This time we had 6 adults and took our 7 oldest students so they could experience some of the life of living on the street. Although the risk was big, I think we thought that it was important for our students to get the full perspective of what FTC (the refuge orphanage) is really doing. It was a good night on the street. We did not get out there until around 9 so most of the kids were already asleep on the sidewalks and in some of the bushes along the streets. We woke them up and offered to get them food. Before the night was done, we had about 30 street kids with us. Some of the kids were the same as the night before but some of them were different. We ran across two of the students who used to live at FTC but have recently run away. Not sure if they will go back but needless to say, I am sure that it made an impact to see them. One kid, Sunny, was curled up on the steps when we came across him. He ran away from FTC a little while ago but left his sister "Bam Bam" (not her real name but what she goes by) at the camp. He took a long time to wake up but when he finally did, it was incredible to see him recognize some of the students who have come here before. We was cool and has the best smile. We bought the kids Shopow and then took them to a bakery where we were able to by bread for them all. (It was about 12am so all the other restaurants were closed by then) For 6 dollars US money, we bought 6 grocery bags full of bread. It was almost like a Mary Poppins bag the way the bread didn't stop flowing out. We had so much bread left over that when we left the kids, they took a couple bags to share with their friends that we didn't find. Before we served the kids the meal, we broke down into small groups. We asked the kids their story and a little bit about what it was like to live on the street. Most of the stories were similar. Some of them sent to live on the streets to beg and were not allowed home until they had money, others were abused physically and sexually and didn't want to be home, some didn't like having to work at home so they left to be with friends, others were left alone because their parents took off. When we asked them if they didn't want to be on the streets anymore most of them didn't want their lives to be different. They didn't want help. One of the kids told us about a guy that was coming around and taking kids. They were scared to trust a lot of people. The way that FTC works now is that if a child wants to come into the camp, they have to go through a government organization to get approval to take them. They used to be able to just bring kids in but now the process is a little tougher. I suppose it is a good thing. After watching the movie "Slumdog Millionaire" I think I would be nervous if any random person could take kids.
Overall the street experience was good. It was a little different than the night before for me personally because I felt like I had to wear my "leader/protector" hat. Instead of just letting myself just engage in the streetkids, I had to be real intentional about surroundings and and be looking first for the safety and protection of our students. If I am honest, I didn't like that role. I wanted to jump in and surround myself with giving 100% attention to the kids but I knew I couldn't. I am thankful for the night I got out into the streets with just the leaders to allow me to really dive in and just immerse myself in the moment.
Later that afternoon there was a concert back at the blue box. Our students were able to perform and once again did a fantastic job. The team from frontline has some incredible talent and between their dancing, the band, and their singers, the concert was a huge success.
After the concert we decided to hit the streets of San Pablo once again. This time we had 6 adults and took our 7 oldest students so they could experience some of the life of living on the street. Although the risk was big, I think we thought that it was important for our students to get the full perspective of what FTC (the refuge orphanage) is really doing. It was a good night on the street. We did not get out there until around 9 so most of the kids were already asleep on the sidewalks and in some of the bushes along the streets. We woke them up and offered to get them food. Before the night was done, we had about 30 street kids with us. Some of the kids were the same as the night before but some of them were different. We ran across two of the students who used to live at FTC but have recently run away. Not sure if they will go back but needless to say, I am sure that it made an impact to see them. One kid, Sunny, was curled up on the steps when we came across him. He ran away from FTC a little while ago but left his sister "Bam Bam" (not her real name but what she goes by) at the camp. He took a long time to wake up but when he finally did, it was incredible to see him recognize some of the students who have come here before. We was cool and has the best smile. We bought the kids Shopow and then took them to a bakery where we were able to by bread for them all. (It was about 12am so all the other restaurants were closed by then) For 6 dollars US money, we bought 6 grocery bags full of bread. It was almost like a Mary Poppins bag the way the bread didn't stop flowing out. We had so much bread left over that when we left the kids, they took a couple bags to share with their friends that we didn't find. Before we served the kids the meal, we broke down into small groups. We asked the kids their story and a little bit about what it was like to live on the street. Most of the stories were similar. Some of them sent to live on the streets to beg and were not allowed home until they had money, others were abused physically and sexually and didn't want to be home, some didn't like having to work at home so they left to be with friends, others were left alone because their parents took off. When we asked them if they didn't want to be on the streets anymore most of them didn't want their lives to be different. They didn't want help. One of the kids told us about a guy that was coming around and taking kids. They were scared to trust a lot of people. The way that FTC works now is that if a child wants to come into the camp, they have to go through a government organization to get approval to take them. They used to be able to just bring kids in but now the process is a little tougher. I suppose it is a good thing. After watching the movie "Slumdog Millionaire" I think I would be nervous if any random person could take kids.
Overall the street experience was good. It was a little different than the night before for me personally because I felt like I had to wear my "leader/protector" hat. Instead of just letting myself just engage in the streetkids, I had to be real intentional about surroundings and and be looking first for the safety and protection of our students. If I am honest, I didn't like that role. I wanted to jump in and surround myself with giving 100% attention to the kids but I knew I couldn't. I am thankful for the night I got out into the streets with just the leaders to allow me to really dive in and just immerse myself in the moment.
Friday, June 19, 2009
So much to share.
There is so much that I need to catch you up on. It has been a roller coaster couple of days but there has been some crazy things happening. I will take you day by day.
Thursday-
We spent the day at the garbage dump. Yesterday we had a ton of rain and so with all the standing puddles of water there were flies everywhere. Although I look at the homes there with a different set of eyes after my Manila experience, it still makes me sick to my stomach to be there with that smell, the thousands of flies, and then seeing them bathe, wash clothes, drink and relieve themselves in the same creek of water that sits beneath the pile of garbage. Although it was nice to pass out clothing donations to the family today, I wasn't really feeling like we were doing a whole lot. We went from house to house and each family member got a t-shirt. The t-shirts were old StuCo t-shirts that we had from past events. I think in my mind, and maybe I am wrong, but going to a house with 3 suitcases full of shirts and giving each member only one shirt was an extremely odd feeling to me. I would have much rather given all of the stuff to the pastor from the dump and let him hand them out. I have done a lot of missions stuff before and I think the thing I believe in the most is whenever handouts are given, they should be given from the local church. I don't want to ever distort viewpoints or embellish the idea of the "rich American." We did have the pastor with us, which was great, but because our gift seemed so small, I almost just wanted to give him all of them and just allow him to pass them out without 20 people standing around getting pictures of us handing over our gift. It was 100% genuine but it just sat a little weird for me. Either way, it is good for our students to be apart of giving stuff away. After the clothing handout, we went over to the dump site school and put on a concert for the students. Once again, I was super proud of our students that we brought. They were so good. We set up an amp, drums, electric guitar and few microphones and aside from the singers swallowing a few flies while they sang, all went perfect. At the end of the concert, I had the opportunity to call up the teachers and thank them for the way that they are pouring into the students lives. I got to encourage them as a fellow teacher and then we presented the school with a bunch of school supplies, toothbrushes and toothpaste. We also gave the school a set of baseball bases, a baseball bat and a 16'' softball. After all, every school needs a good softball program :-) Thursday evening I had one of the most nerve wrecking experiences I have had since I have been here. Part of what frontline does is put together tent crusades. These crusades draw hundreds of people and allow them to share the gospel with them. I may show my cards a little too much by writing this but I HATED it. I am not a bullhorn Christian, and if I am honest, I never will be. I don't like the idea of scaring people into a relationship with Christ. It isn't my style nor do I ever want it to be. At the same time, what they are doing out here seems to work. I believe that some people are great at that stuff, and some poeple need that type of outreach in order to encounter God. After all, if it hadn't been for tent crusades, nothing within frontline ministries would have been started. At the same time I am glad we don't do those type of things back home. Anyway, they asked Tim (the other youth pastor) and myself to speak at the event. In reality, I could have said no and it would have been fine but I knew that I needed to stretch myself and share a little. The worst part was that the translators weren't the greatest at English. Basically, I am not sure if what I really said was communicated to the crowd but I guess God will use whatever came across. There was one part of the translation that stirred quite the laughter. I was trying to relate part of my story to the crowd. I said, "if you, like me, came here tonight...." Instead, the translator relayed the idea of "if you like me...." The comma between the you and the like was crucial in that statement. There was a lot of laughter and it wasn't until later that night that it was explained to me what happened. After the testimony, they showed this AWFUL video that presented the gospel. I didn't like it at all. Although I was nice and tried not to laugh too hard, it was a little too much for me when they showed the people screaming and melting as they were surrounded by the flames of hell. I don't want to judge because I believe 100% in what frontline is doing, but it wasn't my cup of tea as far as movies go- not a big fan at the scare tactic. I felt bad for Tim who had to follow up the video with a message. He did a fantastic job! His message was great but once again, I am convinced that the translation was lost. The guy that hopped up to translate came with us on an outing a few days ago and I am pretty sure he knew a total of 20 English words. I felt terrible for Tim but he took it in stride.
Friday-
We took the refuge kids to go ice skating. What an adventure. We went to this huge mall in Manila. Funny how just the other day in Manila the poverty was devastating and then today we went to the other side and went to this HUGE mall that had an ice skating rink in the middle. Who would have thought. The kids were so scared on the skates and it was pretty fun to see them get to try something new. I can't remember the last time I ice skated but I was presently surprised at how I was able to remember how to do it. We then treated the kids to pizza hut (which most of the FTC kids ordered chicken and rice instead of pizza) and spent the afternoon hanging with them. In the evening, Romano (blue box pastor) took Tim and I to see a life group, the churches version of "small groups." It was incredible! The life group took place in something similar to a squatter village near the market. In order to get to the families house, we walked into what appeared to be a small alley. The trench for the waste from the outhouses ran along side us as we weaved through this narrow walkway to get to the back of the village. We weaved around for at least 2 minutes before we got to the end. As we walked back, I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that if a fire started, all the people on the inside would be trapped in. There is no way, all the people would get out, there is just too many people and only one small passageway. We sat on the porch of a home with a group of people that ranged from their 70's to about 5 years old. It was such a beautiful sight and such a real example of what community looks like. The members of the group were all from the village and started coming because of the one couple that lived there. On the car ride over to the group Tim asked what the group had been talking about over the past couple of weeks. Romano shared that he had been spending time talking about prayer and then he talked about the things that he was going to cover that night. When we got to the group, we opened with a word of prayer, one song and then Romano said, "I have brought friends from the United States and they are going to lead us tonight." At this point in the trip, it doesn't seem to faze me anymore. Two weeks ago, I would get frustrated if the announcements or the service flow wasn't communicated for a StuCo service at the yellow box. Now, I think I am just used to the "whatever" type of mentality that occurs out here. I have come to accept that at a moments notice, I have to be ready to do anything. After the life group, Tim was going to give speaking at the crusade another chance and I decided to head back to the blue box to join our youth who spoke at the youth service.
After the youth service, Bob and Vicky (two other adults from our group that are out with their family) Lani (one of the students living at FTC) and myself decided to hit the streets of San Pablo. Lani came to FTC about 3 years ago. She lived out on the streets, used to rely on the glue as a form of inhalants to help her deal with the hunger pains, and had suffered the sexual abuse of male figures in her life. About 3 years ago, Bob was out on a trip the Philippines and him and the others from the group came out to hang out with the street children. Lani had met people from frontline before but like most of the kids on the street refused to go with them to live at the center. Most of the street children don't want help because they know it means that they will have to live with some structure in their life. They don't want the rules, they don't want to go to school and they can't imagine breaking away from the drug addictions that they have. At this point in Lani's journey, something opened up to allow Bob to really work on her heart. Although it took several conversations during Bob's stay, Bob finally expressed to Lani how he had a daughter who was Lani's age. He didn't want to go home and not know if Lani was going to be alright. Lani broke down, her heart softened and she asked for one more night in the streets and then she would return to FTC. Although Bob didn't believe that she was going to make her way to the camp, Lani was showed up when she promised. About a month after Lani arrived, they found out that she was pregnant. Now, Lani is a mature 17 year old mother with the most beautiful little girl I have seen. Bob, Vicky and their family has kept in touch with Lani and they have come out on numerous occasions to visit her. Lani really views Bob and Vicky as a parent figure. It's a neat thing to observe. Lani took Bob, Vicky and I to all the places she used to sleep before she came to the camp. She walked us through her story, explained how she used to get food, shower and stay safe. It was fascinating. We stopped to buy shad pow (a bun filled with rat meat) and talked some more. Lani showed us how to eat the shad pow but I picked at the bun and pretended to eat the meat. There was no way, with all my digestion issues, I was taking the risk of eating this thing. I tried to be polite and although Bob called my bluff, I was alright with being a wimp about this one. Jeff Rice (one of the American missionaries) heard that we were walking the streets and met up with us. We continued to walk and found a group of street kids. They all knew Jeff, or as they say brother Jeff, and we spent some time hanging out with them. All of them were super dirty and they were higher than a kite. The glue smell on them was super strong and their pupils were so dilated it was crazy. At the same time they were soooo loving. You could tell that although they were going to refuse our offer to join FTC, they loved it when brother Jeff showed up. We took them to Jollybee (the local fast food chain) and bought them a chicken and rice meal as a trade for all the glue they were carrying. If they didn't hand over the glue, we wouldn't give them the meal. As we walked into the restaurant, kids started coming out of the woodwork. When it was all said and done, we bought about 15 kids meals and spent about 30 minutes just getting to know them at the restaurant. The kids ranged from a 4 month old, to about 15 years old. My heart has never quite broken so much for a group of kids. It was the weirdest thing, after the meal to just walk away and tell the kids we loved them. Those kids have a choice and unfortunately, they are choosing the streets of San Pablo. They find garbage or scraps of cardboard to pad the sidewalk and they just sleep there all night long. They get raped, they go without food, but yet they choose the streets because it is less structure and they can be with their friends. Once we said our goodbyes and wished them the best, Lani wanted to take us to see Rachel. Rachel was her best friend on the street and also her cousin. Rachel was there the night Bob encouraged Lani to come to FTC. Lani said yes, but Rachel refused the offer. We walked up to Rachel and she was sitting on a bucket at the street corner. She was surrounded by her pimps and a couple other females. You could see all the bones in her shoulders and her eyes couldn't stay focused on us. It is obvious there is quite a bit of brain damage that has taken place due to the drugs she has been using. Lani talked with her for quite a bit. She asked her to stop going with these men and tried to show her how much better her life has become. While we were there Rachel got a costumer. Rachel refused to go and the guy (who was higher than a kite) became super angry with us. He asked us to follow him and we didn't. He came back with a small wrench and asked again. My heart began pounding at this point, and Vicky and I moved closer to Jeff and Bob out of fear. Jeff agreed that we needed to leave and said our goodbyes to Rachel. On one hand, I wanted to get off the streets and back where it was safe but on the other hand, I knew that this 15 year old girl was going to allow this high, disgusting jerk take advantage of her for a measly couple of pesos. It made my skin crawl. I wanted to go back and beat the dirtbag with the wrench. Once we got to a more public place, we caught a trike and headed back to FTC. When we walked through the doors of the camp, my heart looked at the kids so differently. Suddenly each of their stories were so real. The beauty of the camp was shinning a little brighter. These kids really do have hope. They have a chance to become something. As I hugged the kids to say goodnight, I felt this motherly sense stir in me. I was so proud of them. I was proud of them for saying yes to getting off the street and into FTC. At the same time, my heart is broken tonight knowing that there are kids we fed that could face some brutal stuff tonight.
Thursday-
We spent the day at the garbage dump. Yesterday we had a ton of rain and so with all the standing puddles of water there were flies everywhere. Although I look at the homes there with a different set of eyes after my Manila experience, it still makes me sick to my stomach to be there with that smell, the thousands of flies, and then seeing them bathe, wash clothes, drink and relieve themselves in the same creek of water that sits beneath the pile of garbage. Although it was nice to pass out clothing donations to the family today, I wasn't really feeling like we were doing a whole lot. We went from house to house and each family member got a t-shirt. The t-shirts were old StuCo t-shirts that we had from past events. I think in my mind, and maybe I am wrong, but going to a house with 3 suitcases full of shirts and giving each member only one shirt was an extremely odd feeling to me. I would have much rather given all of the stuff to the pastor from the dump and let him hand them out. I have done a lot of missions stuff before and I think the thing I believe in the most is whenever handouts are given, they should be given from the local church. I don't want to ever distort viewpoints or embellish the idea of the "rich American." We did have the pastor with us, which was great, but because our gift seemed so small, I almost just wanted to give him all of them and just allow him to pass them out without 20 people standing around getting pictures of us handing over our gift. It was 100% genuine but it just sat a little weird for me. Either way, it is good for our students to be apart of giving stuff away. After the clothing handout, we went over to the dump site school and put on a concert for the students. Once again, I was super proud of our students that we brought. They were so good. We set up an amp, drums, electric guitar and few microphones and aside from the singers swallowing a few flies while they sang, all went perfect. At the end of the concert, I had the opportunity to call up the teachers and thank them for the way that they are pouring into the students lives. I got to encourage them as a fellow teacher and then we presented the school with a bunch of school supplies, toothbrushes and toothpaste. We also gave the school a set of baseball bases, a baseball bat and a 16'' softball. After all, every school needs a good softball program :-) Thursday evening I had one of the most nerve wrecking experiences I have had since I have been here. Part of what frontline does is put together tent crusades. These crusades draw hundreds of people and allow them to share the gospel with them. I may show my cards a little too much by writing this but I HATED it. I am not a bullhorn Christian, and if I am honest, I never will be. I don't like the idea of scaring people into a relationship with Christ. It isn't my style nor do I ever want it to be. At the same time, what they are doing out here seems to work. I believe that some people are great at that stuff, and some poeple need that type of outreach in order to encounter God. After all, if it hadn't been for tent crusades, nothing within frontline ministries would have been started. At the same time I am glad we don't do those type of things back home. Anyway, they asked Tim (the other youth pastor) and myself to speak at the event. In reality, I could have said no and it would have been fine but I knew that I needed to stretch myself and share a little. The worst part was that the translators weren't the greatest at English. Basically, I am not sure if what I really said was communicated to the crowd but I guess God will use whatever came across. There was one part of the translation that stirred quite the laughter. I was trying to relate part of my story to the crowd. I said, "if you, like me, came here tonight...." Instead, the translator relayed the idea of "if you like me...." The comma between the you and the like was crucial in that statement. There was a lot of laughter and it wasn't until later that night that it was explained to me what happened. After the testimony, they showed this AWFUL video that presented the gospel. I didn't like it at all. Although I was nice and tried not to laugh too hard, it was a little too much for me when they showed the people screaming and melting as they were surrounded by the flames of hell. I don't want to judge because I believe 100% in what frontline is doing, but it wasn't my cup of tea as far as movies go- not a big fan at the scare tactic. I felt bad for Tim who had to follow up the video with a message. He did a fantastic job! His message was great but once again, I am convinced that the translation was lost. The guy that hopped up to translate came with us on an outing a few days ago and I am pretty sure he knew a total of 20 English words. I felt terrible for Tim but he took it in stride.
Friday-
We took the refuge kids to go ice skating. What an adventure. We went to this huge mall in Manila. Funny how just the other day in Manila the poverty was devastating and then today we went to the other side and went to this HUGE mall that had an ice skating rink in the middle. Who would have thought. The kids were so scared on the skates and it was pretty fun to see them get to try something new. I can't remember the last time I ice skated but I was presently surprised at how I was able to remember how to do it. We then treated the kids to pizza hut (which most of the FTC kids ordered chicken and rice instead of pizza) and spent the afternoon hanging with them. In the evening, Romano (blue box pastor) took Tim and I to see a life group, the churches version of "small groups." It was incredible! The life group took place in something similar to a squatter village near the market. In order to get to the families house, we walked into what appeared to be a small alley. The trench for the waste from the outhouses ran along side us as we weaved through this narrow walkway to get to the back of the village. We weaved around for at least 2 minutes before we got to the end. As we walked back, I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that if a fire started, all the people on the inside would be trapped in. There is no way, all the people would get out, there is just too many people and only one small passageway. We sat on the porch of a home with a group of people that ranged from their 70's to about 5 years old. It was such a beautiful sight and such a real example of what community looks like. The members of the group were all from the village and started coming because of the one couple that lived there. On the car ride over to the group Tim asked what the group had been talking about over the past couple of weeks. Romano shared that he had been spending time talking about prayer and then he talked about the things that he was going to cover that night. When we got to the group, we opened with a word of prayer, one song and then Romano said, "I have brought friends from the United States and they are going to lead us tonight." At this point in the trip, it doesn't seem to faze me anymore. Two weeks ago, I would get frustrated if the announcements or the service flow wasn't communicated for a StuCo service at the yellow box. Now, I think I am just used to the "whatever" type of mentality that occurs out here. I have come to accept that at a moments notice, I have to be ready to do anything. After the life group, Tim was going to give speaking at the crusade another chance and I decided to head back to the blue box to join our youth who spoke at the youth service.
After the youth service, Bob and Vicky (two other adults from our group that are out with their family) Lani (one of the students living at FTC) and myself decided to hit the streets of San Pablo. Lani came to FTC about 3 years ago. She lived out on the streets, used to rely on the glue as a form of inhalants to help her deal with the hunger pains, and had suffered the sexual abuse of male figures in her life. About 3 years ago, Bob was out on a trip the Philippines and him and the others from the group came out to hang out with the street children. Lani had met people from frontline before but like most of the kids on the street refused to go with them to live at the center. Most of the street children don't want help because they know it means that they will have to live with some structure in their life. They don't want the rules, they don't want to go to school and they can't imagine breaking away from the drug addictions that they have. At this point in Lani's journey, something opened up to allow Bob to really work on her heart. Although it took several conversations during Bob's stay, Bob finally expressed to Lani how he had a daughter who was Lani's age. He didn't want to go home and not know if Lani was going to be alright. Lani broke down, her heart softened and she asked for one more night in the streets and then she would return to FTC. Although Bob didn't believe that she was going to make her way to the camp, Lani was showed up when she promised. About a month after Lani arrived, they found out that she was pregnant. Now, Lani is a mature 17 year old mother with the most beautiful little girl I have seen. Bob, Vicky and their family has kept in touch with Lani and they have come out on numerous occasions to visit her. Lani really views Bob and Vicky as a parent figure. It's a neat thing to observe. Lani took Bob, Vicky and I to all the places she used to sleep before she came to the camp. She walked us through her story, explained how she used to get food, shower and stay safe. It was fascinating. We stopped to buy shad pow (a bun filled with rat meat) and talked some more. Lani showed us how to eat the shad pow but I picked at the bun and pretended to eat the meat. There was no way, with all my digestion issues, I was taking the risk of eating this thing. I tried to be polite and although Bob called my bluff, I was alright with being a wimp about this one. Jeff Rice (one of the American missionaries) heard that we were walking the streets and met up with us. We continued to walk and found a group of street kids. They all knew Jeff, or as they say brother Jeff, and we spent some time hanging out with them. All of them were super dirty and they were higher than a kite. The glue smell on them was super strong and their pupils were so dilated it was crazy. At the same time they were soooo loving. You could tell that although they were going to refuse our offer to join FTC, they loved it when brother Jeff showed up. We took them to Jollybee (the local fast food chain) and bought them a chicken and rice meal as a trade for all the glue they were carrying. If they didn't hand over the glue, we wouldn't give them the meal. As we walked into the restaurant, kids started coming out of the woodwork. When it was all said and done, we bought about 15 kids meals and spent about 30 minutes just getting to know them at the restaurant. The kids ranged from a 4 month old, to about 15 years old. My heart has never quite broken so much for a group of kids. It was the weirdest thing, after the meal to just walk away and tell the kids we loved them. Those kids have a choice and unfortunately, they are choosing the streets of San Pablo. They find garbage or scraps of cardboard to pad the sidewalk and they just sleep there all night long. They get raped, they go without food, but yet they choose the streets because it is less structure and they can be with their friends. Once we said our goodbyes and wished them the best, Lani wanted to take us to see Rachel. Rachel was her best friend on the street and also her cousin. Rachel was there the night Bob encouraged Lani to come to FTC. Lani said yes, but Rachel refused the offer. We walked up to Rachel and she was sitting on a bucket at the street corner. She was surrounded by her pimps and a couple other females. You could see all the bones in her shoulders and her eyes couldn't stay focused on us. It is obvious there is quite a bit of brain damage that has taken place due to the drugs she has been using. Lani talked with her for quite a bit. She asked her to stop going with these men and tried to show her how much better her life has become. While we were there Rachel got a costumer. Rachel refused to go and the guy (who was higher than a kite) became super angry with us. He asked us to follow him and we didn't. He came back with a small wrench and asked again. My heart began pounding at this point, and Vicky and I moved closer to Jeff and Bob out of fear. Jeff agreed that we needed to leave and said our goodbyes to Rachel. On one hand, I wanted to get off the streets and back where it was safe but on the other hand, I knew that this 15 year old girl was going to allow this high, disgusting jerk take advantage of her for a measly couple of pesos. It made my skin crawl. I wanted to go back and beat the dirtbag with the wrench. Once we got to a more public place, we caught a trike and headed back to FTC. When we walked through the doors of the camp, my heart looked at the kids so differently. Suddenly each of their stories were so real. The beauty of the camp was shinning a little brighter. These kids really do have hope. They have a chance to become something. As I hugged the kids to say goodnight, I felt this motherly sense stir in me. I was so proud of them. I was proud of them for saying yes to getting off the street and into FTC. At the same time, my heart is broken tonight knowing that there are kids we fed that could face some brutal stuff tonight.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
An adult afternoon
Yesterday afternoon Jeff and Whinney took Bob, Vicky, Tim and I into a city about 2 hours away. We let the students stay at the refuge center to hang out with the kids and the adults got some time to be alone for a bit. The town we went to was absolutely mind blowing. The other day, as we went to Manila, Jeff told us that the Philippines is the richest 3rd world country in the world. There is more wealth here in the Philippines than there is in the other places. At the same time, everything we had seen didn't show us that side. The town we visited gave us that other perspective. The town Tanguay (?) sits on the top of a mountain that overlooks a lake created by the volcano. On a clear day, they say the view is breathtaking. Although it was raining and really cloudy what we did see was really nice and I could only imagine how pretty it is on other days. It reminded me of a drive along the blue sky way that we took as a family several years ago. What shocks me about this city is that it isn't all wealthy. There are huge beautiful homes that sit right next to squatter houses. Most areas you have the wealthy neighborhood, with the better schools, nicer stores and then go a couple blocks or the next town and there is the poorer neighborhoods. Here it is all lumped together. As the wealthy home owner walks to the end of his/her gated driveway they look out on homes made out of scraps. You would think that there would be more care for the poor than there is. There is no denying the poor out here. It is right in front of your face but yet it's clear that nothing is being done. In some ways, maybe we are the same. Maybe it is no different in our country. Although there are a lot of things that we are a part of to make a difference with our neighbors maybe in some ways we are just as guilty.
For dinner we went to the cutest coffee shop ever. It was an English pub that was built into the side of the mountain. Walking down the steps was like walking into the rain forest. The flowers were gorgeous, the way the tables were set up in little huts was amazing. We had a chicken pot pie for dinner. Weird that I go all the way the Philippines for my first ever chicken pot pie but it was alright. I am not much of a pie crust person so I wouldn't make a habit of eating them but at this point in the trip there are a lot of things that are tasting good that I normally wouldn't choose.
The way home was quite the adventure. The fog was so bad that you couldn't see more than a foot or two in front of the car. Although the climb of the mountain was full of dangerous twists and turns, the ride down was more excitement then I could handle at times. At times I felt like I was back in Rwanda ready to go off the next cliff. Before one of the curves there was a sign posted that read, "Daddy, we love you please drive carefully." We laughed for quite awhile but then as we drove the curve we realized how dangerous it really was.
It was a great afternoon. I needed some time to just be with adults for a bit.
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