Yesterday morning I started out the morning passing out the letters to the students. They were crying as they read encouraging words from their parents and friends back home. To my surprise, one of the students I used to help me collect letters for the other leaders let the cat out of the bag and let them know I was getting letters for them. In return I received a bunch of letters from home. Thank you to all of you who wrote. I really appreciate all of them.
Later we took a trip to the jail to participate in some jail ministry that Frontline is a part of. I Can't say that I have ever been in a jail in the states but I am not sure I have ever had a desire. This jail was filled with the happiest prisoners. I don't get it. I don't know that I would be that joyful living in that prison. Most of the females were there due to some sort of drug use. Most of the males stories are a little more serious but some of them are there just because they don't have the money to take their case before a judge. The men's conditions were much worse then the females. The men were crammed with about 40-50 to a cell. Most of them had to share beds or sleep on the floor. The women were all in one cell but there were only about 30 of them. Each of the students took some time to prepare a devotional, share some of their stories and encourage the ladies of the prison. I was really proud of all our students. Every single one of the students shared. Some of the students shared their own struggles and sins and encouraged the prisoners to let them know that God keeps no records of sins and loves them just the same as He loves those who are not in the jail. Some days these students make me feel like a proud Mom. They are so mature in their faith.
Yesterday afternoon Tim and I were invited to join some of the new interns within Frontline's leadership training class. I have gotten really used to realizing that when they invite you to join something they are really telling you that you need to be ready to "share some words of encouragement." (in other words be ready to say something profound) Although, if you asked me to do that in the context of the school building I would feel more comfortable doing that but there is something that makes me incredibly awkward and scares me when they ask me to share here or within the Christian culture. (Especially when some refer to me as Pastor Debbie.... I am not a pastor... I know we are all called to pastor sheep but you know what I mean) I have told Tim that he is not longer allowed to go first in his sharing. I refuse to follow him. He is incredibly blessed with the ability to just get up there and speak. He doesn't think about it and the things that come out of his mouth are incredible. It's a true gift from God. I am praying that I have one positive experience in that department before I leave. It's not that I want to say something profound for me but I would like that feeling of knowing without a doubt that God is going to speak through me.
I am becoming more and more impressed with Frontline Ministry. They do such an incredible job in so many areas. Not only have they established 2 churches, a child refuge center, a well know school/academy, an international business opportunity, hospital partnerships, and jail partnerships but they are going into the streets of Manila and have started small groups in the garbage dumb to eventually begin their next church sites. They could have stopped with the 1 church or the refuge shelter but they didn't. They continue to strive on to ask what is next and where they need to continue ministering. Nothing is out of the question. They take risks and really live out what it means to truly love God and love people. I am become really thankful for conversations with Jeff Pessina, Max (the pastor of the blue box), Ruel (the green box pastor) and Noriel (the dump site pastor and life groups leader).
Not really sure what my deal is this morning but I feel like I am filled with a pretty heavy heart. I don't really know how to explain it or what the deal is but I really wish I could fix it. In some context one of the most difficult things about this trip is not having people to process some of this stuff with. I have been blessed in having close friends on all my other mission trips. There are other great leaders on this trip but the time isn't appropriate to have those conversations. I am really missing friends right now. I miss having a venting outlet.
At 6 am the frontline interns asked Tim and I to lead them in a morning devotional on John Chapter 3. I was pretty excited that we got time to plan this one. (planning time isn't common here) It's probably the teacher in me, but I like to know I am prepared before I just lead something. We decided to take some time and focus on the first part of the chapter and challenge the interns to think through what it might look like if we really grasped what it would look like if we truly believed in God's love for us. Sounds selfish even to write it but honestly, if I could really believe that and buy into the fact that if I were the only one God would have given his son for me my life would be radically different. If I really got that, I would love people so much more, I would be so much more generous, and I would be so much more confident in the things I feel like God has called me to do. Tim, once again, was used in an incredible way. He had all the interns moved to tears. It was really good.
This afternoon we are headed back to the refuge center to hang out with the kids once they are done with school.
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